Zara Rowlands Photography

When should the speeches be?

It's been a tradition to end the wedding breakfast with the speeches from the father of the bride, batsman and groom for a long time but do you have to do them  at the end of your meal or should you switch it up? This is what we're going to discuss .

From a photographers view it is best to get speeches done before the wedding breakfast as they tables are clear of dirty cutlery and crockery and less clutter from empty glasses and stains on the table cloths but its also a good reason to get speeches done out of the way to help with nerves. There is nothing worse than being so nervous about standing up in front of lots of people and some you may not know well and having to do a speech. This in turn can make it difficult for you to enjoy your meal. Doing speeches first means those people can then sit down and enjoy their meal knowing the hard part is done.


The other questions is what about speeches between courses (a photographer/videographers nightmare).

It may sound appealing to conduct speeches between courses however this does prove difficult for some vendors working on your wedding day. When I have photographed a wedding with them between each course it has been very hard to have a meal myself especially when provided by the venue (sadly a lot of the time we have to keep chasing them for our food with it hanging on our head that speeches could start any minute with no notice). If you decide to do this, chat to your wedding venue or caterers to make sure that it is doable - you don't want to risk your meals going cold whilst someone talk for too long (trust me, it has happened!).


And then there is speeches at the end of the wedding breakfast. Many couples tell me they want their guests to be 'fed and watered' before the speeches start so everyone can sit back, relax and enjoy them. The noise from the guests will then be laughter and applause instead of rumbling stomachs.


There are a few important things to consider:

1. Think about how the person before you will end their speech. If they let you know, you can then alter your speech so it starts referencing the ending of theirs.


2. Set time limits. For example, if you allot 10 minutes maximum to the best man he’s unlikely to speak for half-an-hour. If he goes over with, say, 15 minutes, you’ll still largely be on schedule. Be realistic though. It’s actually harder for a speaker to write and deliver a great short wedding speech, than a standard length one of 7-8 minutes.


3. Ask the person before you to introduce you. This saves you from having to clumsily introduce yourself to the room and lets you know when it’s okay to start your speech.


4. Don't have too many speakers. If you break the mould of having more than the traditional three speakers, where do you stop? Be strict with numbers.


5. Ask the other speech-givers what jokes, toasts, anecdotes and thank you's they plan on including in their speeches. That way you can make sure there are no repeats and can mix it up a bit so you can do different ones. You don’t want to bore the guests by repeating familiar stories.


6. Consider a master of ceremonies/toastmaster. They can ensure the speeches start at the appointed time and that the transition from one speech to another is done seamlessly. You must factor in that their opening and introductions to each speaker will add time to the overall wedding speech timetable or give less time to each speaker.